


standing at the edge

by americangentleman



Category: Newsies - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Canon Era, Cute, Fluff, Homophobia, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Plot Twist, implication of death, no happy ending, subtle mention of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:28:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23570845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/americangentleman/pseuds/americangentleman
Summary: albert remembers his best friend. every feature of him. every perfect aspect of him. they were young and in love.tw/ very subtle mentions of violence and homophobia! implications of death!
Relationships: Albert DaSilva/Racetrack Higgins
Comments: 15
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

maybe it was the bubbly laugh that erupted from the blonde every time he snatched a few extra bits from an innocent person buying his papes, or how bright blue eyes lit up and created a whole new world when he talked about something he was passionate about....possibly it was the charismatic smirk that sat in his face when he knew he did something that would result in jack yelling at him later.

Whatever it was, it didn’t matter. Because all that mattered was that albert had fallen hopelessly in love with his best friend.

race’s giggles echoed through the empty alleyway as he pulled albert along in the cold night on the perfect fall evening. he held on tightly to race, their fingers intertwined and perfectly in between one another. the way they held hands like this, there was enough electricity bursting from the simple action that a million cities could light up for days.

their spot was on top of an abandoned shop. it was for them, no one else. no one even knew they escaped there each night and stayed until the crack of dawn. they only noticed how exhausted they were the next day. but, it never stopped them.

 _“hey,”_ race would say once they were situated shoulder to shoulder on the edge of the building.

 _“hi,”_ albert would say back with a much softer grin than race’s beaming one. despite the dark, empty streets, race seemed to glow brighter than the shining moon. the stars aligned in those blue eyes. a whole universe created from the most beautiful galaxies were buried in those eyes.

_“good day, huh?”_

_“only because i was with you.”_

_“you’re too much,”_ race gently shoved him with a light snicker. _“that’s why i love you.”_

albert rolled his eyes. _“you know you can’t say stuff like that.”_

_“why not?”_

_“because i love you too.”_ albert pressed a chaste kiss to race’s cheek, his lips lingering longer than they needed to.

race adjusted himself on the ledge, moving his head forward so their lips would connect. their kisses could pause the entire world. what else really existed when it was just albert and race. together. on the rooftop kissing. it was just them and nothing could break it apart. every passing moment was another lifetime—another world. neither of them would have it any other way.

since the first time albert made the move one night on the rooftop to where they were in that very moment. just albert and race, race and albert. in love.

albert pulled race’s waist closer to him, creating almost no space between them. races hands found their way up to alberts hair, his fingers running through the back of the red hair he adored so much. intimate, passionate kisses that lasted for ages.

 _“racer.”_ albert whispered against his lovers lips.

 _“al.”_ race answered, grinning ear to ear.

_“i have never known anyone as beautiful as you. i could sail across the seven seas, and, still, i would never find a person who could compare to you.”_

_“god, i wish i could make out with your sweet, smoothing talking lips every second of my life,”_ race closed the gap between their lips again, now one hand with a fistful of alberts shirt. everything was perfect.

the door to the roof slammed open, causing the boys to jump away from each other quickly. albert lost his balance and fell onto the floor next to him. _“antonio higgins. first you’re caught stealin’ down main street and now you’re kissin’ boys,”_ snyder hissed. one or two policemen stood behind him, prepared with handcuffs and batons.

 _“albert, run,”_ race whispered down at him quickly.

_“why didn’t you tell me you were stealing again?”_

_“i did it for you, idiot. go.”_

_“i’m not going to leave you.”_

race bent down and kissed albert hastily. _“go!”_

everything happened so fast. the yelling, the banging, the fighting. albert hated it. he felt guilty. he watched. he watched race get beaten until he could no longer stand. when the goons turned to him, he dashed down the ladder and booked it down the street.

race’s voice echoed throughout the block. pained, strained... _“albert!”_

when he was finally made it far enough away, he hid in an alley and fell to his knees. he didn’t know how long he cried. he didn’t know how long he yelled. he didn’t know how long he pleaded and begged for a different ending.

....

so he sat on that roof every night, looking up into the shining stars that hung over his head. it was their spot.

“hey racer,” he’d muster through tears. “i miss you everyday, i hope you know that. i tell everyone about our stories—about you. they miss you a lot too. but, not like i do. i just want to hold your hand again because you held it so tenderly. i felt safe in your hands. you held it like it could snap if you held it too tight. you held it like it was the most valuable item you had ever owned.”

“i miss your lips. i miss how they fit into mine. i miss how you treated every one like our last. i miss how you’d kiss my nose after making a stupid little joke. or how you’d push my hair out of the way when you thought i was asleep and gently press your lips to my forehead.”

“i miss your laugh. your silly little hysterical fits when you thought you were the funniest boy alive. i thought you were. i may not have shown it, but each time you said some ridiculous little comment i thought it was the funniest thing i had ever heard. your laugh. it lit up the whole world. there wasn’t one person not smiling when you were. your joy was contagious and wrapped whoever was around into it.”

“i miss the way you talked to me. the softness in your voice when we had a moment. the love in your tone. how much you cared about me. how i was your world like you were mine. you saw me. the real me. all of me.”

albert wiped his face of the stray tears that escaped his eyes. he didn’t cry every night. but it had been two years since the last time he saw his best friend. the love of his life. his universe. he hoped that somewhere race was listening; was watching. he hoped the ghost of him was right there beside him, reaching out to him.

“i’ll never forget you. i’ll never forget the time we shared. i’ll never forget the way you loved me for me. i’ll never forget the first time you kissed me back. i’ll never forget the last time you kissed me.”

albert inhaled slowly.

“i stayed alive. i stayed alive for you. because i knew that’s what you wanted me to do. i’m here for you. and hey! coming here every night never changed...the only thing that changed was your presence.”

“you know...the...the day after. i came back. and for days after that i kept coming back. hoping you’d be there. waiting to wrap me in your arms. to warm me up. to erase all of my fears. to wipe away the tears on my face from endless days of mourning.”

“i just wish you were here. i didn’t get to say goodbye. i just want to hug you one last time. i want to hold your hand so tightly and kiss you so tenderly one last time. it’s all i ask.”

alberts breathing was shaky. he held onto himself tightly, wishing those arms were races. “i love you so much and i will continue to love you until the end of time. i’ll see you again one day.”

“...albert?”


	2. i can see you now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> —part two of standing on the edge.
> 
> albert sees race once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw mention of death!

“...albert?”

albert turned.

he couldn’t believe it. the whole world opened, everything felt new. he felt safe.

he didn’t feel so alone.

“race?” albert choked through tears. still, he couldn’t move. he couldn’t breathe. was he dreaming?

two years.

two years of being alone. begging and pleading to see the one person he ever loved just once more. just to say goodbye.

all he knew was that he was dead. they had hurt him so bad that he was dead. that he was tortured. gone.

not one word from the broken blonde boy for two years. he was left unknowing of the end. he left him to believe there would be no them for any longer.

should he be angry? upset? happy? he felt so many things, he couldn’t process what was really happening.

albert was convinced he was hallucinating.

until he felt cold, lanky arms wrap around him for dear life. until he felt the wet tears coming from the boy soak through his torn up tank top. until he sobbed into the arms of his favorite person. until he finally felt again.

he gripped onto race tightly. if he let go, race would disappear. it would be a dream, all of it.

after nights over nights of want, of longing to see his best friend once more...it came true.

there he was, crying into the one person that made him felt human. the one person that ever made him feel loved and cared for. the only person that really mattered to him.

albert couldn’t risk letting go of him. he couldn’t run away again. he could watch race get taken away. he couldn’t stand hearing those painful echoes that bounced off of the buildings as he ran.

he ran for his own life.

but he carried on for race.

for the hope that one day race would be brought back to him. that one day he’d hear his bubbly laughter once more. that one day he would see that beaming grin that made his heart melt. that one day he would hug his best friend like nothing else mattered. like there was no one else in the world.

it all came true in an instant.

two long, dreadful years without race.

they finally pulled away after the almost endless hug. the hug that made up for two years without each other.

race still had the same eyes that carried the entire world in them. the same smile that told albert that it would be okay no matter what. the same curls that albert loved combing his fingers through on sleepless nights, gazing up at the shimmering stars above.

but he looked broken. he looked beat down to the bone. every day in that refuge sucked the life out of him. he looked alone. sad. lost.

albert held onto his hand tightly. he could never let go. he could never leave him. not again.

they didn’t have to say anything. the silence told a million words. they stared at each other, waterfalls flooding from their eyes. the tears reflected off of the glistening moon that shone over them.

albert could see every feature that race carried.

nothing could replace the moment. no future late night conversations, no past engagements.

it was just them. again.

when their lips connected, they couldn’t help but let the tears flow harder. a million cities lit up when their lips connected. albert felt like he was floating. like he would never come down. two years caught up all at once and danced around them, singing a song filled with love. it was like race never left.

and after albert left him, he still came back. and he still loved him like he did all those years ago.

“hey,” race whispered after pulling away. his voice trembled along with his body. he was scared. terrified.

would he get caught again?

no, he wasn’t afraid of being caught again. he was afraid of albert getting caught. he didn’t want what they did to him happen to the redhead who changed his life for the better.

“hi,” albert whispered back, a tight, lovesick smile on his face.

“remember the stars?” race looked up at the sky. he looked at it like it was golden. new. valuable.

“i look at them every night. like we used to.” albert didn’t dare tear his eyes off of race. “i...i’ve been talking to you every night. but through the stars.”

race looked back at him, smiling softly. “i haven’t seen the sky in its full beauty in who knows how long...”

“it never was the same without you.”

“i missed you. i missed you so much,” race felt tears stream down his face again. “i kept telling myself to move on, to forget. in fear you moved on.”

“i couldn’t. you’re the only thing that has ever mattered to me,” albert cupped his hand and brought it up to his chest. “and i kept going just for you. i know you were out there. somewhere.”

their voices were quite. delicate. as to not disturb the moment.

“i looked up at the stars, hoping you were looking right back. so we were looking at the same sky every night.”

“i never stopped looking the the sky.”

“albert. you were the best thing that had ever happened to me. through no matter what they did to me...i never stopped loving you. i hoped you were living freely, happily...waiting for me,” race stared back at alberts sad eyes that described a million stories. that let race know about each and every passing night when he sat alone. hoping to meet race again.

“i never gave up. not on you. not on us.”

“i’m sorry.” race croaked.

“don’t apologize for anything...it’s not your fault, none of it.”

“i love you.”

“i love you too.”

and slowly everything went back to the way it was before.

the ghost of race’s hand lingered on his chest. what once was race faded into the night sky, blending into the sparkling stars.

the stars that were theirs.

albert clung onto his shirt tightly. he fell to the ground. he let it all out. his screaming echoed off of the surrounding buildings. he didn’t care who heard him. he wanted to tell his story, he wanted to let the people know how the tire him apart. how they ripped his life in half when they stole his whole.

he wanted people to hear how he watched the love of his life disappear in front of him two years ago. he wanted people to hear that he watched his best friend die right in front of him.

and all he had left of him were the stars.

the stars that they admired so much. night after night.

race knew so much about the stars. he named the brightest one “albert”. albert could easily point it out every time it appeared. it was their star.

the phantom of race sat on the ledge, their ledge, giggling loudly after making a stupid joke that albert adored. he was happy. they were happy.

the spirt of race’s smile left a scar in his brain. every time he shut his eyes, he was there. it was there, waiting for albert to have the same one on his own lips.

race was there. looking at albert like he was the only living thing. like albert was the entire universe.

the shadow of those bright blue eyes that held the galaxy in them stared into alberts broken brown ones. the one’s that repaired every bad one that ever happened to the two of them.

albert cried. he screamed. he weeped desperately for a different ending.

no matter what, race was still there. in the stars. naming every constellation and telling their tale.

race was there, telling albert that everything was going to be okay.

albert dragged himself back to their spot.

he forced himself to sit over the sleeping city. the city that was once theirs.

albert shut his eyes tightly. he looked up at the stars.

he saw race looking at him with the brightest smile that reassured him to keep going.

race connected the moon and the stars.

race turned night into day.

race made the rain into a bright, sunny day.

no matter what was going on with race, he made sure albert was first.

he made sure albert felt loved.

he made sure albert felt alive.

“i love you,” albert repeated through sobs. “and i will never stop loving you.”

he knew race was saying the same thing back to him.

he kept going for race.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so...so sorry for this. you guys expected something cute and happy. i cried writing this... um follow my twitter @/JCSHBURRAGE

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you guys want a part two :)


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